Our Stories

I Found Serenity Behind Barbed Wire Fence!

  Being new to recovery and my first attempt at the program; I recall working on "Step 8" with my first "Step Group" and asking how I was going to find many of the people I had harmed in my 33 yrs of addiction.  One member turned to me and said "God will put them in your path when you are ready."  I remember thinking to myself "What does that mean?'.  

  My addiction took me to a prison.  Sixteen days shy of two years clean and sober, the Judge handed me a four year sentence.   Being stripped of everything; my family, the fellowship of ca, and my freedom. But the one thing they could not take away from me was my conscious contact with my higher power!  Working closely with my sponsor in completing a couple  sets of the "12 Steps", I was prepared and able to apply them in my life on a day to day basis.  It gave me the tools and  the confidence to help other woman if they too wanted this new found freedom. 

  One day while I was in the yard, a name came over the PA system.  I stopped dead in my tracks and thought "Oh my God I owe that person amends!".  They weren't on my list as I had totally forgotten about harming this individual. Now I understood what the meaning "God will put them in your path when you are ready."   I went back to my cell, took out my "Big Book" read the instructions on how to make amends. "I'll never get over drinking or using until I right the wrongs I have done...". My sponsor had told me there's nothing worse than having to make amends for making amends.  So I checked my motives on why I wanted to make the amends and wrote out the harms I had caused.  When the opportunity presented itself I made amends to him.  Let me tell you the step 9 promise I had found a new freedom and serenity was in full bloom.  I had a huge grin on my face that I just couldn't erase.  The other woman would say take that f...ing grin off your face.   I couldn't because I had found serenity behind barbed wire fence.